Thursday, March 08, 2007

Ladies with an attitude.

Beer is a thing that when consumed in large quantities, the following effects are immediate. One you are as drunk as that uncle that comes over for visits, you're sleeping on the bar, funny how a bar made of hard wood can seem at said moments, as having the effect of the most luxurious mattress that is hand made for the sultan of Brunei.Your making out with that creature, that in your deluded mind looks like Sofia Loren, but in reality resembles,Jack Nicholson peering through the door in the film The shining.
However, there is one persistent need, and that is the river that is building up inside, that needs to be let out at the speed of the Niagara Falls. Men's bathroom full, so in you go to the fresh women's room . Lights large mirrors, ladies refreshing make up, that term ladies conjours in my mind, Iman, then again illusions are many times just that, illusions. Because as you let your self into the stall, sorry I meant the bathroom, the floor is full of toilet paper, because the hole in the toilet is too small to be able to throw it in, secondly the toilet paper is gone even though there are only 2 women in the whole bar, and lastly the toilet seat looks as if a cat was trying to emulating his beloved master, by trying to master, relieving and balancing on the toilet seat. now there was a period in our lives that we all want to forget, and that is the time in which we were placed on some plastic object so that we could learn to use the toilet instead of just letting it all hang out with us for a while until, someone noticed, that it is not the garbage can that needs to be changed. with that said I would like to know, how is it possible that The ladies are not able to master, sitting on the toilet. Now I have had this conversation many times but I am stilled puzzled. the arguments stemming from not getting pregnant, (this is why the story of Boris Beckers last baby was able to remain in the press for a while) To catching some disease. Well, I know that women have different parts to men, however am I to assume that said part is so huge as to take up the whole circumference of the toilet seat that the possibility of getting some kind of disease is, well rather higher. Because you know what even I would want to see that big pussy. After you tiptoe out of that stall, sorry hole, I meant place, your only thought is wellington boots, and remembering the conversations at home from the women of the house, to put the seat back down. Well after that experience there is not even a need for a seat, or even a toilet for that matter, those mirrors should just be replaced with pictures of gorillas, even Jack Nicholson is starting to look better. As to the term ladies, just to regurgitate, illusions.. by the way, I have started to not drink that much beer.